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lyrics

I don’t want to die, but I’m too afraid to live
Terrified to make mistakes and take a risk
I’d rather make believe, hide and play pretend
Ignoring that someday I’ll have to face the end

And everybody that I love I’ll have to watch them face it to
Witness their decline, nothing I can do
Slowly rot away or quickly disappear
Is there really any wonder why I sit and live in fear?

Every day it gets a little bit closer
I can feel it in the morning when my bones hurt
I can see it in the mirror when my skin sags
The one truth about youth it doesn’t last

I thought I’d always be 20 something
A decade plus later and I’m wondering what the fuck did
I think was going to happen, this is how it works
The body runs its course, then gets covered in dirt

I don’t want my family to die, I want them to keep living
Sometimes at night I cry can’t control my negative visions
But that’s reality, I guess the truth hurts
That’s not an “old man,” that’s your future

I disregarded older people when I was young
But now I’m that older person the one to be judged
Obsessed with death, I can’t get away
Age is nothing more than different rates of decay

I look into the mirror, stare at my face
Then reflect upon how much my parents have aged
Saw a photo of my pops, like who the fuck is that?
Vaguely resembling the man that I call my dad?

Perhaps I shouldn’t think that or say it out loud
But you prob’ly think it too and if you don’t you do now
I get depressed and start to spiraling down
When I think about the day my parents won’t be around

credits

from #oneAweek Vol. III, track released July 29, 2019

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Buck Bowen Long Beach, California

"Trying to bridge the growing gap between 'would-be' and 'has-been.'"

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