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Mephisto

from #oneAweek Vol. I by Buck Bowen

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lyrics

What should I be pissed about today?
It’s best you don’t come around my way
I’m not feeling in a talking mood
I’m feeling awful, awful, all consumed

By the media by all the thoughts I’m thinking of
Overstimulated can’t concentrate and I’m feeling numb
When will it end?
Losing hope reminiscing of Robin Williams again

This is typical
I’ve been around enough to know this stuff is often cyclical
But that doesn’t give me hope
That just means I need to paddle long enough to keep afloat

I’d trade a year for a moment to breathe
But I suppose I do that anyway poor pitiful me
Feeling shitty and dull
Not sure how much light is left in this flickering bulb

Hello darkness, my old friend
I came to talk to, talk to you again
If misery loves company
You must be, must be the one for me

I don’t expect things to be perfect
In fact I often expect that my chest is full of stress and hurtin’
I’m not sure the pressure’s worth it
Hectic, nervous, fumbling thru life to find a better purpose

(I try) But my head is burstin’
Chronically controlled by demonically possessive urges
It’s for the better I don’t shed the surface
You don’t really want to know what sits below this heavy burden

I’m catastrophizing again
Maddening I admit, passively I resist
I should just do what I ought to
But this circular logic got me stuck in a thought-loop

Misery in the present, regret about the past
The future isn’t any better don’t know whether I can last
I don’t mean to be so candid when
I talk about my resignation letter to be handed in

Hello darkness, my old friend
I came to talk to, talk to you again
If misery loves company
You must be, must be the one for me

credits

from #oneAweek Vol. I, track released August 21, 2017

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Buck Bowen Long Beach, California

"Trying to bridge the growing gap between 'would-be' and 'has-been.'"

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