Lying in bed alone
Wondering should I get out the house or just stay at home
Cause when the darkness appears
It’s hard not to choke and get swallowed by fears
But I’ve been battling
Shining light on the shadows when
They emerge with the masochist
I have to challenge it
Cause if I don’t I’ll get stuck in a loop always asking “if”
Sometimes I’m up some times I’m down
Most of the time my mind likes to run around
I try to keep it at bay
But it does whatever it wants to keep me in pain
Still the thoughts amass
I keep thinking of a future without my past
So many things I never said
But it’s probly best they were left inside my head
It’s been a little while, but I’m still feeling it
Emotions out of control, trying to reel them in
But there really is no use
Cause I can run from the lies but can’t hide from the truth
Born on earth, raised in hell
It’s so damned easy to hate myself
Play the blame game, shame is felt
I need to take a moment to break the spell
Shit’s so weird
Some days I’m feeling fine like I’m in the clear
Other days I’m in a daze
Still amazed that I’m trapped in a maze
Feeling brittle and small
Trying to do the math to make sense of it all
I can trip into a limitless fall, fall
Depending on the memory recalled
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