Due to tight time constraints the lyrics of some rappers are not listed

[Bixill]

It’s like aaaayyyeee, ooooooooooooooh
Recognize game, Santa got the hos
So check your naughty and your nice list, cuz it’s cuffin’ season
So damn cold you wanna be in

Laid up with bae in nothing but PJs
Cuz we worked all year for these vacation days
And my sweater so ugly god hates it
Socks hung up, gifts hidden in the basement

Winter’s the occasion
For snow days and staycations
Can’t help but celebratin’
Drankin’ bourbon apple cider, got me lit up like the treeee

Annnd iiii don’t hafta worrrrk tillll Jannnuarrrrry
Ha!, that’s the shit I like got my Lego snowtroopers havin’ snowball fights
On the shelf a toast to your family and your health
Cuz this the time of year you gotta treat yo’self

[Surreal the MC]

Saint nick was from ancient greece
Modern turkey the middle east
Modern times it's a lot of feast
Golden coins from these golden geese

Olden times pray on your knees
Wise men in na-tiv-it-ies
Fam ill eee and fest-iv-it-ies
Eating swine and gift giv-en-ing

Shivering out in the snow
Caroling and we giving hope
Merrily while we getting cold
Barely know the tales told

Hold on to a lotta weight
Heavy yet does a lotta great?
Hol-i-days for a lotta faiths
Bring peace get rid of hate

[Max Fischer]

I saw Santa and grabbed the bag
Told him give me everything he had
I said chill son, you're too fat to run
So I reached in my jacket and grabbed the gun

Pushed him to the ground, and I jacked the sleigh
Prancer was getting buck, so he had to get slayed
I said move Vixen, kid get outta my way
I gotta lotta moves to make before it's sun

And I ain't giving up until the job is done
No forced entry, Saint Nick ain't no rookie
Flying high af, I did it all for the cookies
And milk, smooth Santa suit made of silk

Sticking and moving, even Santa gotta pay the bills
You think Santa would be proud of me? Probably
Cause Christmas ain't much less than highway robbery

[Buck Bowen]

There was a knock on the door, package arrived
Dad mad stoked from winning a prize
Word on the box, said fragile
Opened it up, what did he say?

Oh boy, would you look at that!?
It’s a leg, a statue, no it’s a lamp!
Pop’s eyes bockled, mom M-A-D
Dad put it in the window for the whole world to see

But wait, there’s more to the story
The lamp blazed forth in unparalleled glory
Mom’s freaking out, holding back her misery
Neighbors turned on at the symbol of pop’s victory

The next day no joke
Mom knocked off the lamp and the whole thing broke
Dad thru a fit, then hit the back yard
Where he buried the remains of his shattered award

Now back to me it’s
Time to go over my Christmassy list
I want one thing an official Red Ryder
Two-hundred shot range model air rifle!

“You’ll shoot your eye out” they said as they dismiss
But pops hooked it up big surprise yup on Christmas
I took it outside
First shot let off and I hit my damned eye!

Oh man, where are my glasses
Took a step heard a crunch oh no I smashed them
Gotta think quick I’m in trouble
So I whipped up some tears and cried out to mother

She’s worried but I’m telling a lie
Said a big icicle had fell on my eye
Now as I rest, overjoyed truly
Snugged up against my blue steel beauty