It’s the year 2081 not far in the future
All Americans are fully equal nobody is stupider
Uglier or weaker than anyone else
Thanks to physical and mental handicaps that they’ve been dealt
The constitution’s been amended
So the smart and pretty won’t make those around them feel offended
Or inferior, and of course
The Handicapper General ensures equality’s enforced
The beautiful must wear a mask
To hide their features while the strong must carry weights to make them weaker
The intelligent get a shock
From a radio they have to wear that interrupts their thoughts
The sharp noises cause a pain
That’ll keep them from taking unfair advantage of their brain
Now everyone’s the same thanks to vigilant policy
All in the name of equality
“Harrison Bergeron, age fourteen, has just escaped from jail, where he was held on suspicion of plotting to overthrow the government. He is a genius and an athlete, is under-handicapped, and should be regarded as extremely dangerous.”
Diana Moon Glampers the Handicapper General
Apprehended Harrison Bergeron as criminal
Dissent she’s having none of it
He was arrested on suspicion of overthrowing the government
A young boy, only 14
7 feet tall, brilliant, handsome, and an athlete
But now he’s a walking Halloween
He wears 300 pounds of metal and black caps around his teeth
But he escaped the asylum
And crashed the local TV station raging in violence
He tore off his handicaps and flung them on the floor
To reveal a man who would have awed Thor
He scanned the fearful crowd for an Empress
When a ballerina with a bunch of handicaps ascended
He removed her mask and other handicaps
Blindingly beautiful, deciding they would have a dance
The musicians scrambled to their seats
He said to play your best but what they played was fake and cheap
He snatched two from their chairs
And waved them like batons while singing the music he’d like to hear
He placed his giant hands on her tiny waist
Exploding in joy and grace, into the air they sprang
The ceiling was thirty feet
It’s obvious they tried to kiss it every time leaped
And they finally did it
Defying gravity with love, pure will, and commitment
Suspended just an inch
These two lovers hovered kissing one another under it
But before they got done
Diana Moon Glampers entered with double barreled shotgun
She fired twice and no more
The Emperor and Empress were dead before they hit the floor
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